December sucks!

Let me list the ways…

1. House we were renting with my mother got forclosed

2. Austin lost his job

3. Mother kicked us out for not wanting to give her the money we saved for moving.

4. Mother gave my dog away to some stranger without telling me.

5. Car batter is dead and can’t afford to buy a new one.

6. It’s been over a week and Austin still hasn’t found a job. 

7. Can’t move into our new place because we have no money or a job

8. All my Christmas presents are no longer being bought (sorry kids)

All the good things about this month

1. Looking at other peoples Christmas lights is free.

2. My friend is letting me stay at her place until we can find a place of our own. 

Late night with Lexi

Late Night With Lexi No. 2

  It finally happened! My late night therapy with Lexi was long over Due, and even though we didn’t get much talking done, it was still a big stress relief. 

It started out like every other late night. We smoked cigarettes and Lexi started on about her week. Well wouldn’t I get a random blocked call! I decide to answer and some guy procceeded to try and find out where I was, claiming that he is a secret crush. I continually asked him who he was and then out of the blue he hung up. Me and Lexi freak out! She called her friend Nate to see if he would join us since we were a little (A lot) creeped out, and of course some random guy answered Nates phone. At first he pretended to be Nate, but then he changed his sorry and claimed that Nate was passed out drunk. So lexi and I spent the rest of the night driving around looking for Nates car to see if he was ok. Finally we called his roommate and he assured us that Nate was fine and the night came to an end. 

I went home to a very grumpy Austin. I messed up and was selfish. I knew He had a long hard day at work (he had to go in at 4am instead of 8am) and I still left with Lexi. All he wanted was some quality time, and I feel so horrible. When will I ever stop searching for a wild adventure when I have my future laying right next to me in bed? Why do I always self sabotage? Why is it always so hard for me to be happy? When will I find the answers? 

Love life

Saturday DateNight

Well it was the first date me and Austin have been on in a long while. We had so much fun, and even though we are now broke, it was worth it. It felt so nice to do something special with my man bear. We walked around the mall and window shopped for Christmas, saw the new Hunger Games movie, and went out to eat with another couple. 

Relationships are funny. It’s like you find that one human who drives you crazy and keeps you sane all at the same time. I swear Austin brings out this violence in me that can be hard to hold in. On the other hand, he can calm me down with a touch of his hand, and cheer me up with one of his smiles.

On another note, me and Austin have decided to try and have a baby. Well try isn’t the right word, more like we are not going to protect against it anymore and see what happens. The thing is me and Austin have not been together that long (8months), but he is the kind of person that will take care of his child even if we are not together. So in some ways I have no fear of having a child with him, and I wouldn’t want to have one with anyone else.

Late night with Lexi

In desperate need of a “Late Night with Lexi”

Not that I haven’t seen Lexi, I just saw her an hour ago, but there is something… Therapeutic about talking at a park till 2 am. Since I haven’t been home, me and Lexi have not been able to indulge in our weekly ritual and it’s starting to take its toll on my mental health. I’m not sure when the next one will be, but I’m sure it will be soon. She has so much to tell me! 

Love life

Post wedding vacation 

The reason I haven’t posted lately is because me and my significant other have been on vacation… At his aunts house! His aunt took the family to Disney World and we had the pleasure of staying watching the animals. We got a nice, much needed week alone. Not that we did much, but it was still nice. Austin did plan on taking me bowling at a new spot that just opened, but somehow we didn’t got. He apparently did not know that it was a date. According to him, telling me to not make plans because he made plans for us is not classified as a date. Please tell me I am not the only one in this world who is having trouble with their spouse understanding stuff like this. Hmmm… I think my next post will be about my relationship with Austin. Stay tuned for more! 


Wedding Disaster 

It’s not a family get together without those red and blue lights flashing. My aunts wedding that we all worked so hard to make perfect ended with two new family members being arrested. My aunts new husband is an amazing man. He is funny and humble. His family on the other hand is…. Ghetto. We got kicked out of the venue 2 hours early, and had police lining the walls as we tried to clean and pack up. How embarrassing! So many of my family members left early because the grooms family was so rude. They had their children running around and they were drunk within the first hour. Now my family is not perfect or well of in anyway. My grandmother (may she rest in peace) was a drunk who lost her kids. My aunts and mother grew up in group homes and have never been rich, but we don’t act like it. Yes we party. Yes some of us even do drugs, but we don’t cause drama! Don’t get me wrong, I love my new family. If they need me I’m there, but it’s sad because I know they won’t do the same for me.  Anyone else have crazy in-laws? How do you deal?


Wedding blues

No one in my life can get married for a least 10 years! I’m so over weddings and all the stress. 4 more days till my aunts wedding and we have been non stop trying to finish everything. I bought fallout 4 and haven’t even had time to play it. On top of that I wake up to my mother pissed off at Austin for throwing his wingstop cup outside. If my head explodes today I’ll miss you guys.